Talks given from 1/8/1968 to 16/11/1970
Original in Hindi
Book Chapters: 5
Year published: 1979
Source: www.oshoworld.com

Chapter No. 2 - Tantric path to super energy
15 November 1970 am in Woodlands, Bombay, India

Tantra is a philosophy of non-duality. It accepts life in its totality -- even the wicked, the inauspicious, the darkness. Tantra accepts them not with a view to treat darkness as darkness or to treat bad as bad or to treat inauspicious as inauspicious, but because there is a possibility of transforming inauspicious into auspicious. There can be light by cleansing darkness. What we call matter is in its deepest sense nothing else but God. Tantra is non-duality. It is the acceptance of that One only. That which is bad is also one form of that One. That which is inauspicious is also a form of that One. There is no condemnation of anything in Tantra.

G.M.S. Torrel has written one book, GRADES OF SIGNIFICANCE which means steps of greatness. According to Tantra, differences that are found in life, are the differences in the importance of steps. Even the first step is a part of the final step. If the first step is removed, there are no means to reach the last step of the temple. The ugly roots hidden in the ground are the life-giving source of the flowers blooming in the sky. If these ugly roots hidden in darkness are cut, there is no possibility of those flowers blooming in the sky. The unshaped stones buried in the foundation of the temple, take care of the golden-pitcher at the top of the temple. If they are removed, the golden-pitcher would fall down.

Tantra accepts life in its totality. So, it is necessary to understand this thing first, because Tantra has developed the science of transforming sex energy on this principle. According to Tantra, sex energy is the earthly, material form of its divine form. Sex energy is the first step to attain the Brahma. It doesn't mean that the Tantra wants man to be immersed in sex energy. It means that we have to start our upward journey from where we stand. And if the land where we are standing is not linked with that land where we wish to reach, then there is no meaning in the journey.

Man is standing in sex energy. He is there all the time. The place form where we are born from nature, is the centre of sex. Nature has made us stand there. Any journey shall have to start from this centre. And we can start our journey from this centre on either side. One is that which is generally tried by people but are not able to accomplish ever. This is that position with which we begin to fight. We become enemies of that place where we are standing, that is, we become enemies of ourselves, and divide ourselves in two parts. One part is that which we censure, which in fact, is ourselves. And the other is that part which we admire, and which we are not at the moment, but the one we wish to be. And when an individual divides himself thus in two parts, it should be understood that he is that which he is rejecting and he is not that which he is accepting. His whole life will now enter a very absurd conflict. He will wish to believe what he is not, and will reject what he is. Such persons can only be confused and agitated. Tantra says there is such an inner conflict in man's life.

If a person wants to attain Brahmacharya -- Celibacy, he cannot get to it by fighting against it. Tantra declares we cannot reach anywhere by fighting against ourselves. What will we fight? Whom will we fight with? We are one whole -- undivided entity. To fight means to divide ourselves into two parts. In this manner an individual will be torn and divided into two parts. A split personality will be created. Thus many parts will lie scattered within us. Tantra proclaims that even sex is to be transformed. Celibacy is the power of sex and it is to be taken to celibacy. That same power of sex which runs towards others, is to be taken to self. That same power of sex that desires the company of another, is to be made anxious to reach the depths of the self. That power of sex that is after low kind of happiness is to be turned towards virat, the gigantic -- towards endless Bliss -- the Eternal -- the Salvation liberation. This point of view of Tantra I call the nonduality.

The dualistic nature of conflict is always fighting itself The boy fights the Atman, God against nature and sex is pitched in against meditation. This state can never see the truth. Tantric view is that this fighting is meaningless. What is really required is transformation. This is in total agreement with the fundamental principles of modern science that states that energy cannot be destroyed. We can only transform that which is hidden in any particle -- give it another form, shape, life etc. But whatever energy it has, cannot be destroyed.

We can see the same thing this way too -- Nothing is created and nothing is destroyed. It is like a seed that transforms into a tree. The seed is never destroyed only its hidden energy transforms and grows into a tree. The tree dies after some time but leaves behind thousands of seeds with potential energies. The seed is not destroyed, it is transformed, because there is a tree now where there was a seed formerly. Celibacy does not mean the destruction of sex, now celibacy is there where there was sex yesterday. Where the nausea of sex energy was running out yesterday, there the same energy is transformed today into celibacy and is running within. The energy which had an outward flow till yesterday, has an inward flow today. The energy which was running from the centre to the circumference, is now running from the circumference to the centre. But it is the same energy. It is not destroyed. Tantra has proclaimed this much before the modern science could understand it.

Tantra says, never commit the folly of destroying energy, otherwise you yourself will be shattered, frittered away and you will not be able to destroy the energy. Therefore those who fight against sex cannot attain celibacy, they pervert themselves instead. Really speaking, we know neither to keep enmity nor friendship. We do not know how to stand between the two. Either we make friends like a mad man or make enemies like a mad man. But our madness remains forever. We are never able to look at the subject from a detached, neutral point of view.

Tantra says, the first principle is to look at sex from a detached point of view. Do not consider sex as a friend or a foe; consider it as a thing to be enjoyed and not as a thing to be renounced or to be given up. Consider sex as a pure energy. Friendship and enmity are two points of view, they are not facts. The only fact is that it is energy that goes on flowing and spreading outwards, which demands another person, which demands an opposite. No sooner do you look at it as energy than your whole view-point is changed; because then you are neither anxious to enjoy it nor to renounce it. One who is anxious to give it up is a defeated exhausted and a harassed pleasure seeker. He is certainly a pleasure lover who now talks of renunciation. But it is not certain how long a person nauseated with pleasure can maintain his renunciation. One who is fed up with pleasure will also be fed up with renunciation. How can you save yourself from renunciation if you are fed up with pleasure? Renunciation is the other side of that same pleasure, it is like the other side of the coin. If you are fed up with one side, you will certainly be fed up with the other. It is essential to understand this point clearly because it is absolutely necessary to understand the transformation of sex energy.

The sex activity has two sides, as every other activity has two sides. For example, if you are hungry, you are anxious to eat, you may risk your life to get food. When you have taken your food, you completely forget about it. And if you have eaten more than necessary, you have to vomit the food cut for which you had become mad. A kind of disgust and a loathsome feeling is created in you for that very food for which you were prepared to risk everything. Every feeling of the mind has two sides -- hunger and thirst -- the condition of thirst and the condition to satisfy the thirst. Similarly when sex desire demands satisfaction, man becomes confused and runs after it like a mad person. Then sex takes the person to a climax, where energy is simply consumed, and the person returns and sinks into a deep pit of dejection. And now in that pit of dejection he is thinking Or the disadvantages of sexual pleasure.

It is difficult to meet a sex-lover who does not think of renouncing sexual pleasures after enjoying them. The idea to give it up is due to the repentance resulting from sexual enjoyment. Renouncing is misery due to the waste of energy. All sex seekers, after satisfying the urge, experience feelings of renunciation, dejection, disregard and hatred. When the husband turns his back towards his wife and goes to sleep, that act of turning the back is very significant. The wife understands the implication of this. She always weeps behind the back because she thinks this man was mad a moment before and now the same person has turned his back. This person is now so dejected, exhausted and harassed that, it seems, he is not going to indulge in it again. In about twenty-four hours or forty-eight hours according to his strength and age, the person is again seized by that sex desire, again his mind will be ready for sexual pleasure and he will totally forget the past repentance.

Renunciation and pleasure are two sides of one coin. Every person is moving to and fro in the pendulum of renunciation and pleasure during the twenty-four hours. Some people stick to pleasure only and pass their time in seeking it. And some others hold to the other side of the coin, namely, repentance and take shelter in ashramas. So a person who has run away to an ashrama or a monastery will experience everyday the rising of sex currents in his mind. The demand will continue to come from the other side that is supposed to be given up but which is, in fact, only suppressed. It is possible to link both the sides of the coin, as it is never possible to give up one side entirely. At the most we can lower one side and raise the other. Both sides of the coin remain in the hand.

The person who renounces always experiences the attraction of pleasures and so always speaks against or criticizes it. He is not trying to convince you, but is trying to console himself. The hermits have really abused and criticized pleasure -- sexual pleasure. There must be the attraction for pleasures in his mind, otherwise there is no reason for abuses of this kind. If he had sincerely given up pleasure he would not find any interest in abusing it.

Why does the pleasure-seeker praise? He praises in order to remove his sorrow and repentance. He is trying to persuade himself that repentance has no meaning. He believes that it was a momentary weakness, there was attraction, there is heaven. He is admiring pleasures with a view to wash out his regrets and so sings false praises. Praising is never true. In contrast to this, the hermit is denouncing pleasures. He is trying to falsify the memories of happiness derived at the moment of enjoying sexual pleasure. He says to himself, this is all false, it is absolutely hell. The mind gives him memories of heaven and calls them hell, thus he tries to destroy those memories, but both are trying suppression. The pleasure seeker is suppressing renunciation and the recluse is suppressing pleasure. Both these are suppressive minds. This is important to bear in mind.

Generally we call a recluse a man who suppresses himself but we do not call a pleasure seeker the same. This is a mistaken view. The recluse also practises suppression he suppresses pleasures. The pleasure seeker also does so, he suppresses his repentances, his renunciations. Both are suppressed. Tantra teaches us not to suppress but to observe, to know and to recognize. Save yourself from the duality of both of them. This duality is false.

Neither admire nor censure, because if you admire now, you are sure to censure after some time. The circle of admiration followed by censure and censure followed by admiration is revolving round and round just as day is followed by night and night is followed by day. Tantra says, to understand its meaninglessness and see that the energy is neutral. It is neither good nor bad. It is neither worth renunciation nor enjoyment. If a person, saving himself from this duality, can see his life energy, what would be the result?

According to Tantra when a person sees life energy just as energy without any valuation, without any estimate, it stops at once. It neither moves forward nor does it go backward. Only we cause it move. By admiration, we push it outward and by censure we take it inward. We have seen the pendulum of a clock moving to and fro, but you may not have thought of the principle that while going towards the left side, the pendulum gains the energy-power to go to the right, and when it moves towards the right, it is accumulating energy to go to the left. This is how it moves to and fro. When you are praising and complimenting your sex energy, you are also at the same time preparing yourself to censure it and when you are censuring it, you are preparing yourself to admire it. This idea of reverse effect will not be comprehended all at once. It is called the Law of Reverse Effect. Opposite kinds of energy are getting collected in man's mind.

A Jewish saint Hasid has written a book. It was a revolutionary book, so the orthodox Jews were dead set against it. Hasid gave the book to one of his devotees and asked him to give the book as a gift to the most religious man among the Jews. That devotee was very confused. He said, 'I don't know, how he would react.' Hasid told him not to react to what the religious man said or did but just observe him and see how he behaves. He should only be a witness so that he could bring back the correct information. The devotee went there as a witness. It was evening and the Rabbi was sitting in his garden with his wife. The devotee gave the book and said, Saint Hasid has sent this gift for you. On hearing the name, Rabbi lifted the book and threw lit away angrily and asked him to keep it away from his house. For a moment the devotee felt something should be done, something should be said, but he was asked not to see his behaviour, not to react, but only to observe as a witness. He just stood there. Then the Rabbi's wife said, 'Why be angry, there are thousands of books on the racks keep this also there and if you wish to throw it away, do it after some time. There is no necessity of hurting this man's feelings so much.' The devotee wanted to thank the wife of the Rabbi, but again he remembered he was sent there merely as a witness. It was not proper for him to do anything. He went on watching.

After some time he asked if he could go. Both the Rabbi and his wife said, you have said nothing at all. He replies, I am sent here merely as a witness. I have to report what has happened here. But before I go away I would certainly like to tell you that this is the first occasion in my life in which I acted as a mere witness, and this is also the first occasion in my life when I am laughing at my whole life. Alas! I wish I had been such a witness throughout my life. Then he returned. Then he was asked by Hasid about what had taken place at the Rabbi's house. He described what he had seen. The saint Hasid asked, 'Did you not react in any way?' The devotee replied in the negative. Then Hasid asked, 'What do you think about this now? What would have happened if you had reacted at that time?' He said, 'If I had reacted then, I would have considered him an enemy and his wife a friend. But as I have behaved as a witness, I can now tell that there is a possibility of the Rabbi becoming a friend, if not today, tomorrow (in future), but I have no hope about his wife becoming a friend. Hasid asked the reason. The devotee said, Rabbi threw away the book so angrily and violently that he shall have to read the book because he will repent, if not now, in the very near future. But his wife said with a very cool mind, 'keep it in the library, there are thousands of other books, this will also lie there.' So there is no hope of her reading it. So I can say that his wife is certainly our enemy. Rabbi can become a friend. Hasid began to laugh and said, you have understood the principle of the pendulum of the clock.

According to Tantra we have to understand sex energy as the sole witness And when a person becomes a witness, energy neither goes out nor goes within, it stops, it becomes steady. No sooner docs it become steady than transformation take place. I shall tell you about another very interesting principle.

Nothing remains still in this world. Nothing can remain motionless in this world. Everything in this world will either go out or come within, it will either go forward or go backward. There is nothing motionless in this world, nothing can remain still here. If energy becomes still, goes neither in nor out, then for a moment it would appear that energy has become still and its outward flow has stopped. Be a witness thus and you will find that energy has started to flow within. Energy is a living thing, it cannot be stopped, it shall certainly go somewhere. If it does not flow downwards, it will flow upwards.

Tantra says man has to make an effort to take it out, but to take it within man has to be effortless. One has to make many efforts to take it out because it is unnatural to be in, while no effort is necessary to take it within. There is only one way to take it within and that is, to give up the efforts which take it outwards. But both the pleasure seeker and the renouncer fight against it outside. One pushes energy outward, the other draws it within. He pushes it out as much as he draws it within. Energy tries to go within as much as it is pushed out. Just as a ball dashed against a wall returns to you, similarly our conflict with energy leads us to absurdities.

Tantra says, standstill, be a witness, observe but don't take a decision, don't comment, don't take sides, no praise, no censure. Standstill. Observe it once only. And as soon as you standstill for a moment, you will immediately know the next moment that it has started to flow within.

To flow out means to flow downwards. And to flow within means to flow upwards. In this inner journey, the words 'within and upward' are synonymous. Similarly, the words 'out and downward' are synonymous in this sadhana. As soon as energy flows within, inner sexual intercourse begins which is a unique subject in the wonderous art of Tantra. One is called sambhog (love making) when a person practices with another person, it is a sexual pleasure which is a relation established with one's opposite sex.

But when the journey begins within, a relation is established with one's own inner centres. When one ganglion comes in contact with another ganglion, sexual intercourse takes place. They are two circles. But when the ganglion begins to flow towards the higher circle, two circles meet again but it is a meeting of inner circles. And the inner sexual union begins. There are seven such circles, and as energy reaches to each circle, one experiences joy and deeper joy till it reaches its climax at the seventh and the highest circle and explodes. Then this energy is one with the highest -- Brahma.

Tantra calls this 'The great happiness, joy' because it is not right to call it only happiness or joy. What is called 'happiness' is that which we have experienced by meeting the other, even though we can never meet the other. Separation takes place as soon as we meet the other satisfactorily. Tearing off begins when the meeting is not complete. Energies separate as soon as the meeting takes place. Therefore, there is only a desire to meet the other, but the meeting does not take place. Soon as it takes place it ends. But in the 'inner happening', there is no question of breaking -- ending. The meeting is very deep, it gets to be permanent. This flow of 'The great happiness' is the transformation of sex-energy.

So it is necessary to be a witness. There should neither be feelings of friendship nor enmity, towards sex. Only a natural feeling. It is necessary to be expectant and patient at this natural moment -- this moment of standing still. Because the experience of sexual intercourse in our life is momentary. It is the experience of a thousandth part of a moment. Before that moment is over the mind comes back in revolt -- in repulsion. So, at that moment when you are standing still, the mind has a tendency to return to its old habits. When the energy begins to flow towards the centres within the mind breaks away from its old habits. Now every moment is lengthened but if the mind returns to its old habits of momentary pleasure it will be pulled back, that is why it is most essential to have patience. Standstill and go deeper and deeper within. This important experience is like death and one is often afraid and nervous.

Sexual intercourse has a deep relation with death. If you go deep you will see that sex and death are similar. A bit in a man also dies during each sexual intercourse. His life energy gets diminished. If we examine the lives of some animals, it is very surprising to find that some animals die at the end of the sexual intercourse. We shall also and by studying some of the animals that there is not much difference between the animal and human sex behaviour. The only difference is the time-gap. The African spider eats its mate while mating. But that does not stop the spider from being aggressive and lose energy due to her passivity. More energy is lost in aggressiveness. Man begins first, he commits aggression. Woman does not commit aggression. She receives it only. It should be said, she simply defends herself, she protects herself.

Her energy decreases less proportionately than that of a man. Pleasure to an extent lies in losing energy. Therefore, a woman does not get as much pleasure as a man gets. According to the statistics of a survey conducted by some woman over a period of ten years 70 percent of women never experience the climax in a sexual intercourse. Children are born but it is difficult for women to get the experience of the falling out of sex energy. I said that both lose energy; but that does not mean that someone can become strong by suppressing his energy forcibly. If energy is suppressed forcibly, energy is lost in the act of suppression. That suppressed energy will find a release sooner or later. It will flow out in dreams and is wasted. Suppressed energy perverts and creates more difficulties.

I am not advocating suppression. I am only telling you there are other ways of channelizing this energy. If you can see that way once, you will realize how much energy you have lost because you have no idea about its positive achievements. We can make comparisons only when we know about it.

As long as you have not known the direction of profit, how can yon compare? What is your account? What is your standard of measurement? You have suffered only loss in your life. You have no means to compare. Comparison will begin on that day when sex energy begins to nOw towards the direction of profit upwards. To measure this loss, there should be something on the plus side of the balance. All experiences in life are relative. Therefore grasp my point of view when you experience even a particle of profit in your life. Otherwise how can you realize what you have lost. If you got a little more happiness even for a moment in your period of loss, you feel you have gained and if you have got less happiness even for a moment in your period of loss you feel you have lost.

If you experience longevity in any sexual intercourse, friendship while entertaining enmity with it.

On the one hand we abuse sex and on the other we go on enjoying it. Thus that pendulum goes on moving. He who wishes to raise sex energy up, should know that sex energy is also the energy of God, therefore both censure and enjoyment are meaningless. To know it is meaningful and fruitful. To keep it living is fruitful. As soon as sex energy begins to run within, the emptiness that is experienced within, is filled in -- there comes fulfilment. An individual can then say now I am completely full, there is no emptiness within.

DOES SEX SAP ENERGY?

Common beliefs are only what is known from the empirical experience. We believe in a thing as we wish to believe in it. Whatever we wish to believe in is manufactured as truth. Man is less rational but more rationalising. It is not that he thinks with great intelligence, but the fact is he gives a shape of intelligence to that which he thinks about. It is easier to do so. We wish to run away from knowing rightly about sexual intercourse, sex, sex-energy and rationalise them to suit our view. When we like it we call it healthy and do the opposite when we want to reject it.

Man has always adopted different views of the same thing at different times. What was dead till yesterday is made alive today.

Intelligent people of every age always support the common belief to be recognized as intelligent. Common belief is the belief to satisfy -- to persuade the mind into believing. It is a medical fact too and not very difficult to understand. During the intercourse, breathing is faster, the blood pressure increases and there is exhaustion at the end of it. He has to wait till his energies are restored to do it again, normally after twenty-four to forty-eight hours.

It is necessary to grasp what I say when I tell you that both man and woman lose their energy. Regarding this there is some misunderstanding about women because women are of passive sex. She also loses energy but she is not mating. Similarly, man diso dies bit by bit during the sexual intercourse believing like the spider that it is not happening to him.

Every man thinks that he is an exception. When a person dies on a road, it does not strike us, we shall also die one day. We simply say, the poor man died. It does not strike us, we also are 'that poor'. The death of that man should be a warning to us. The relationship -- sex and death -- is very deep. So the repentance which one experiences at the end of an intercourse, is, really speaking, the repentance of death to a certain extent. Man dies to a small extent. Now he is not that which he was before the intercourse. Something is lost, something is annihilated, something is broken off The life energy is weakened. That is why when energy reaches the inner circles or the first circle for the first time, one is very much afraid and feels as if he is dying. Even so in the depths of meditation one is troubled by the fear of death. One feels he is dying, but should be prepared to overcome it at that time. When you welcome death it becomes as pleasing as the sexual intercourse. You should similarly be ready to meet death at the first moment of inner sexual intercourse. He who is ready to die at that moment, at once realizes that he is entering the region of nectar.

In the outer world, each sexual intercourse leads to death In the inner world each sexual intercourse leads to nectar. It is that which Kabir is preaching to the Sadhus. The rain of nectar is coming from the palate. The inner sexual union is like the birth of a child, but it is not borne by two partners it is like giving a new birth to oneself. This person is what we describe as twice born -- he who has achieved a new birth by bringing his life energy to the inner circles.

All the births in the outer world are followed by death, and all the inner births are followed by nectar. If this process, described in the Tantra is understood properly, it is not at all difficult to take sex energy to celibacy. But it is difficult to fully comprehend this point of view of the Tantra, because there is a feeling of enmity towards sex energy deep within all of us. We do not become enemies by having feelings of enmity. On the contrary, we enter into deep you think you are benefited, and, on the contrary, if you do not experience longevity in a sexual intercourse, you think you have lost. We make comparisons between these two. But when the energy rises up for the first time in life, then, you realise, all the harm done, not only in this birth but in endless births of the past. We cannot have this experience till we have got the experience of the opposite. There is loss of energy after the intercourse, but the body is like a machine and replaces the lost energy.

A small experiment was performed at California University in the USA. Thirty young men were starved for thirty days. After three days, their sex attraction and sex appeal began to die out. One psychologist saw that magazines showing naked photographs were lying idle now. After seven days, the photographs were kept in front of them but they did not look at them. After ten days they wanted to discuss sex with them. They were just not interested. After fifteen days they lost all interest in sex. All sorts of stimulants were given to them but they sat there as if they had no concern with all those things What has happened? In fact, the body does not supply any energy. There is now no interest in the mind. It was only after three days of their taking food that they showed interest in sex.

The body does not die by fasting but the energy decreases. The body returns the energy to you within twenty-four hours. So you feel that nothing is wasted. These are all biological functions of life but life goes beyond all those routines. We can move higher only after we break out of this vicious circle and stop wasting our energy in these circles. We get to know about it after we have experienced the positive aspects of this energy.

VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL DESIRE

It is impossible to have a sexual intercourse without violence even if Mahavira or Buddha or Krishna is born out of it. It may be less but that is a different thing. Violence will certainly be there. No birth is possible without violence. Therefore longing for birth is also violence. If Mahavira was desirous, even to a small extent in his previous birth, he will be born. Mahavira is also accused of that violence. His parents are certainly guilty of violence and Mahavira also shares in that violence because he was eager to take birth. Parents only create a situation. Therefore when this violence on the part of Mahavira is over, he cannot be born again after that.

There is a very interesting story about Mahavira. It applies to all Jain Tirthankars -- religious teachers. The Jain-tradition says to belong to Tirthankar clan-family is also a bondage. To be a Tirthankar is also due to the Law of Karma (Action). It is the last bondage. It is a chain of gold, but a chain all the same. A Tirthankar also takes birth because of some deep and final lust. He takes birth because he is eager to give others what he knows. Such a lust is the desire for a new life. That is a Tirthankar bondage.

The birth, the lust of becoming a teacher is also violence. Whoever desires a birth -- he may be Mahavira or he may be Krishna -- will have to pass through violence. And when this violence is over the births of men like Mahavira will be over. Then there is no way to come back. The last desire to come back is finished. There is violence in my birth, in your birth, and in Mahavira

birth. That violence will be in proportion to the intensity of the desire to be born. Birth cannot take place without this violence. It is necessary to understand that birth is violence, life is violence, death is violence. We cannot live without violence.

It does not make any difference if a person eats meat or eats vegetables only. There is life in vegetables, so he commits violence. He will certainly drink water. There is life in water too. A person has to breathe so there is life in breath also. I utter one word, lips open once, and shut once, but thousands of bacteria die in that single operation. Violence will be there. It is another matter that Mahavira committed less violence, but he is certainly not out of it. There will be violence while walking, stepping forward, breathing, standing and sitting.

So our entire life is swimming in the ocean of violence. We are the fish in that ocean. While we live, total non-violence is not possible. An attempt to achieve total non-violence is worthwhile. But if I go on decreasing violence throughout my life, if I go on diminishing my desire for violence, if I go on taking less and less interest in violence, I shall reach the point of my last breath, this will be my last act of violence. And when that happens there will be no new beginning of my first breath after that. Then the matter ends for me.

Buddha talked of two kinds of nirvana. He said, when I achieved supreme knowledge under the Bodhi tree, it was nirvana, but now it is going to be maha nirvana. It will take place with my last breath. There was a gap of forty years between the achievement of Supreme Knowledge and the final breath. In the case of Mahavira it was a gap of nearly forty to forty-two years. There was violence before these forty-two years. But the point of view was changed. The violence which was there before Mahaviras arrival, was not known as such, but after his arrival it was known as violence. The former one was done unconsciously, now it is conscious, so it is minimum.

Mahavira does not commit violence of his own accord. Only that much violence is committed which is absolutely necessary to live. Even there he tries to commit as little violence as possible. He sleeps on one side. He does take food, but he can go on with one meal, he takes it once only. Then he takes food once in two days. He does not eat meat, but takes only vegetables. He prefers dried vegetables and dried fruit to green ones, because to pick up green vegetables and fruit would be to give pain to them. Dried up things fall themselves, but there are innumerable lives in them also. They will certainly be killed.

Whatever violence was committed by Mahavira after achieving Supreme Knowledge, was committed through sheer helplessness. The final breath will also be in that helplessness. There will be supreme liberation after the last breath. Then the journey will be entirely different. Then there will be life without the body. It will be the life of pure Atma -- Soul. Only the pure Atma is non-violent.

All things in the world are impure. Impurity can be more or less. There is nothing absolute in this world. There remains at least some imperfection in that which we call the most perfect. In this world even Rama (a Hindu god), however great he may be, has some 'Ravana' (a evil person) left in him. In this world, however great Ravana may be, there will always be some 'Rama' within him. Really speaking, the very presence of some 'Rama' within Ravana, shows the possibility of his evolution. And the presence of some 'Ravana' within Rama indicates the possibility of his birth.

There will be a sinner within the greatest of saints and there will be a saint within the greatest sinner. But he is a saint who knows this little 'sinner' and accepts him as a necessary evil. He believes this as unavoidable, a part of life. If any saint says that he is perfect in this world he is a bit mistaken. He refuses to see some portion of his individuality -- some portion within him. It cannot be refused. It is impossible not to be a sinner if we live along with sinners in this world.

KNOWLEDGE AND SEXUAL INDULGENCE

Ordinarily the action of giving birth happens between two persons devoid of knowledge. People like Buddha and Mahavira will not be willing to be instrumental in conception. There are two reasons for it: one is, they can be prepared and willing to send some one on the journey of birth and death. They cannot be the cause for that. In fact persons like Buddha and Mahavira are eager to send us all to that place of no return, from where there is no birth again.

They are the individuals who are eager to free us from birth and death. We wish to bring someone on the earth while they wish to free someone from this earth. Mahavira and Buddha also wish to give birth some to a place that is termed moksha -- nirvana. They wish to send us there where there is neither body, miseries nor anguish. They also are on the run to give you a new life, but they are not eager to give you a body. I shall narrate an event In the life of Buddha which will explain this point to you.

Buddha returns home after a period of twelve years. He had run away when Rahul was only one day old. He was now 12 years old. His mother was naturally displeased with Buddha and had told many things against Buddha to Rahul. She had thus well prepared her son to quarrel with Buddha in case he came to their palace. When Buddha came, she told her son to ask that beggar -- his father -- what legacy he had left for his son. She further asked Rahul to say. 'You had given birth to a son, now give him provisions for his journey of life.'

It was a cruel joke. Without informing her Buddha had left her. Her anger was certainly natural. Buddha asked Anand, 'Where is my begging bowl?' Hand over my begging bowl to Rahul and initiate him into Sannyas.' Hearing this Yashodhara began to weep. She said, 'Why are you doing this?' Buddha replied, 'I can give that Supreme Treasure to my son in legacy which I have achieved. I wish to give my son that Supreme Bliss which I have found.'

Rahul was initiated into Sannyas. A young boy of twelve became a Sannyasi. Buddha's father told him, 'You left home and now you are removing him too, he is the only star of our eyes. Who would be the master of this kingdom?' Buddha replied, 'I have brought with me knowledge of another great kingdom. This kingdom is very small, and it would be unfair to leave that kingdom for this small kingdom. I have come with the knowledge of that great kingdom and I make him the great monarch -- imperial Monarch of that great kingdom.

Being very unhappy, the father asked Buddha to initiate them also. Buddha said, 'What can be more auspicious than this?' He initiated his father also. Then Yashodhara began to cry aloud, 'Why do you leave me alone here? Initiate me also.' Buddha said, 'What more good omen can there be than this?' Then the whole family was initiated.

An individual like Buddha gives birth to someone in some other Kingdom of life. So people like Buddha and Mahavira after the attainment of Supreme Knowledge, will not be willing to bring any Atma in the prison of a body. There is a prison in each of us all. People living in prisons have no idea of the world outside, of flowers, of the sun, of the moon and stars, of the open sky, and of birds flying in the sky. They are born there.

Then a day comes when a prisoner, having climbed the wall of the prison, looks at the open sky, the moon and stars, the sun, birds etc. His wife tells him, 'Look, other people are producing children, will you not do so?' That man will reply, 'I do not wish to give birth to any child in this prison. I do not want my child to live in a prison. If I wish to give birth to a child, I shall produce him -- give him birth in the journey to the open sky, but who will understand this in jail? These prisoners will tell me, have you gone mad, return to our home. Our home means our jail, our cell.'

No matter how much that man may try to persuade those prisoners that the moon, the sun, flowers will be all there in the open, but it will be all in vain. They will understand nothing as they haven't seen the sun, the moon and flowers. They have seen nothing but darkness and chains. Just as we are asking now, they will also ask if any person, once having sat on the walls, can return and give birth to children? Or can only those persons who have never climbed the walls, give birth to children?

Our question is exactly like that. We do not know anything about this world, that thing, that great life which people like Buddha and Mahavira are seeing. We are imprisoned in this small body, and we wander and toil for this prison throughout life. We consider this a great life, an important life and think of giving births to other Atmas -- souls. While Buddha and Mahavira are busy in sending the evil souls away from here, in liberating them.

There is a fundamental difference in our vision and their vision, in our dimension and their dimension. And therefore we do not understand them. An individual who has attained the highest knowledge cannot give birth to others. He cannot do so because he cannot take the responsibility of throwing someone in prison. He can give birth. He can give birth to a person in another, gigantic world, life of liberation, in that greatest freedom. But that birth is not the birth of a physical body, it is the birth of atma.

It is a birth that cannot be seen. It is the birth of the unseen; not of the known but of the unknown. Mahavira and Buddha have given many such births. Mahavira had around him 50 thousand Sannyasis. Is Mahavira anything less than a father to them? Buddha had thousands of Sannyasis. Is Buddha anything less than a father to them? In fact, he was much more than a father. What have their parents given to them in comparison to what he has given them? But only they can know what they got. We have our own difficulties, we know nothing, that is why we have such doubts -- questions. Therefore it will be proper if we also try to understand such questions fully.

Chapter No. 3 - Reflections In A Mirror
Chapter No. 4 - Sex, the genesis of love
Chapter No. 5 - From repression to emancipation
Chapter No. 6 - The pinnacle of meditation
Chapter No. 7 - Sex, the super-atom
Chapter No. 8 - From lust to the lord