Talks given from 1/8/1968 to 16/11/1970
Original in Hindi
Book Chapters: 5
Year published: 1979
Source: www.osho.com and www.oshoworld.com

Chapter No. 1 - Self energy from sex energy
14 November 1970 am in Woodlands, Bombay, India

Life can be viewed in two ways in all its layers. Life has two aspects -- one is material, and the other is spiritual. It is necessary to examine sex also from these two directions. One aspect of sex is biological that is linked with the body and its particles. The other is of energy, of soul that is linked with the mind by consciousness. So it is necessary to comprehend the two words first. The first is biological energy which is related to life cells that constitute man's body. These life-cells are a part of the body.

This biological portion that we call semen or sex energy or call it by any name can be seen with our naked eyes. But there is another aspect that is linked with it, and which can be called self energy or energy. We can call it sex energy or self energy. It is like a magnet. In a magnet there is a piece of iron which is seen by us and there is also a magnetic field on all its sides which is not seen. But if we keep iron pieces around it, the magnetic power draws them towards it. There is a field in which that power works. This iron piece will remain as an iron piece even if it loses its magnetic power. There will not be any difference in the weight of that piece, there will not be any difference even in its constitution, there will not be any difference in its form, but it will have one fundamental difference in it, and that is, there will be no magnetic power in it, the power of attraction will have gone. I told you this as an illustration.

The soul is a magnetic field. The body is seen, but only the force of the soul is seen, just the effects of attraction are seen. This earth is seen but the power of its gravitation which is attracting us all the time is not seen. If the earth frees us, we cannot remain even for a moment on this earth. The greatest difficulty for the space travellers comes when their space ship leaves the 200 miles magnetic field of the earth, and enters the space where there is no gravitation. Then they can wander here and there in their spaceship like the currents of wind. If their belts are removed from their chairs, they will be just like gas filled balloons which touch the ceiling of the house. This earth is attracting us, but we do not know about it because it is not a thing which can be seen. What is seen is the earth; what is not seen is its gravitation. What is seen is the body, what is not seen is its gravitation. What is seen is the body what is not seen are the mind and the soul. Same way, it is necessary to understand the two aspects of sex energy. What is seen are the life-biological cells, and what is not seen is their sex energy. If this fact is not understood correctly, it will be difficult to understand its further details.

Great experiments have been performed on sex energy in India. This country has a very long history dating from pre-historic days, because we have got such statues from Harappa and Mohenjodaro which tell us about the highly developed systems of Yoga. Statues of Harappa are nearly 7000 years old. In this long history of 7000 years, many rare experiments were made on sex energy, but we go wrong in interpreting and understanding them. We run into difficulties because we take the sex energy as the biological energy. The Yogis of this country have said that sex energy can rise above from below. But the scientists say that when we dissect the body we see that even the semen particles of a yogi are lying there in the body, where they are found in the body of an ordinary man. Semen is not seen rising above. It does not travel up, it cannot travel up. But we are not able to understand the process of the rising of that sex energy. It is not the question of semen particles but that energy which is linked with semen particles and is not seen but which can travel upwards. And when a person is having sexual intercourse, his biological particles -- semen -- leave his body and along with them, his sex energy vanishes in the sky. And sex particles travel to give birth to a new life.

Two events take place at the time of sexual intercourse -- one is biological and the other is psychic. On the biological level the semen travel in search of their opposite particles to give birth to a new life. On the psychic level (which the yoga investigates) at the time of the sexual intercourse, mental energy is released. It simply vanishes into space, and there are ways and methods of raising this mental energy. In no way can this be confused with the biological aspect of the semen travel. They have no means to reach upto sahasrar and astitva -- the highest points on the top. What goes up is the energy, the magnetic force -- when this magnetic force comes down, then the semen becomes active.

A child is born with all its sexual inheritance. A female child is born with all the cells which she is going to use in her life. A girl one day old has about three hundred thousand particles -- very minute eggs. Out of these about two hundred at the most will take life and reach the womb. From amongst them twenty at the most become active and can fertilise. Till the age of thirteen or fourteen all this was dormant. Then when the brain is fully developed it sends down the sex energy and activates the sexual functions.

On the other hand when a woman reaches the age of forty or fifty, the biological function of sex are finished for her. It is not necessary that her psychic energy will also go down. A woman of seventy can have sexual desires but now sex has no biological meaning. Even in a man who is ninety, his sexual energy can go down from his mind to body. Though his body is not fit from the biological point of view, his mind can still harass him thinking of sexual pleasures.

This sex energy is infinite. Mahavira has named it infinite semen -- infinite energy. In fact Mahavira got his name from this. He called it infinite veerya, not in the sense of biological energy (semen), infinite veerya means that sex energy which continuously goes down from the mind to the body, and in turn comes to the mind from the soul. These are its steps, without which it cannot go down. If the mind in the middle is torn off all connections between the soul and body it will be broken off. The power which I call sex energy here is the same in the Yoga and the Tantra (i.e. a religious treatise containing mystical formulas to attain supernatural powers), it is not a biological sex energy.

This sex energy can again rise above. If this sex energy begins to move upwards even in an old man, his life would become as innocent and simple as that of a small child. That old innocence will again shine in his eyes. That innocence and simplicity which are found in a child will return in his personality. Perhaps even more than that. The simplicity of a child is full of danger because it is going to pass away. Under a child's simplicity, there is a live volcano ready to burst. It will burst in a short time. But if the sex energy of an old man returns, his life will be full of innocence. This is saintliness. This innocence is saintliness.

This sex energy is directed by the mind, and is the firm resolve of the mind. It does not flow downwards without the orders of the mind. If the mind can control the flow of this sexual energy it can also control his sexual desires accordingly. If he allows it to flow more, it will increase and vice versa.

During the last twenty years in America, the maturity age of boys and girls has gone down by two years. Where earlier the girls used to be mature at the age of 13, now it happens at the age of 11. This is because the American mind has pressurized the sexual energy too much from all sides. It is the most natural course of events and circumstances. It can descend from 11 to 9, it can also go down to 7 or 5. In America everything has been turned into a sex symbol. Sex is being exploited to sell anything from cars to cigarettes with pictures of half naked women. All this has a terrible effect on the mind, it starts giving out those orders two years earlier which it should have given two years later. This is a premature order and its results are bound to be dangerous.

Earlier something quiet contrary to this used to happen In this country, we had been successful to keep young boys and girls aloof from the world of sex till the age of twenty -five. The whole framework was different. The mind had the will to control this energy. It was achieved by certain physical exercises and asanas and by the practice of certain kinds of meditation, contemplation and determination. If an individual can stop the sex energy from going down till the age of 25, he derives more pleasure, and in future he enters the world of sex and he can compare the two states very easily. He will now realise that there is a fundamental difference between the joy when he had not entered the world of sex and the joy after entering the sex world. Therefore, he who has lived a life of celibacy upto the age of 75, will begin to go towards the world of sannyas after the age of 50 years, because he has the means of comparison.

Talking about the joys of celibacy makes no sense to anybody today because people have experienced only one kind of sexual bliss. Sexlessness is not a part of his experience. The unfortunate thing about this is, once the energy has started to flow down, it becomes difficult to make it flow upwards. Tracks are made. If you upset a glass of water on the floor, the water will flow away leaving a track behind it. In the heat that water would evaporate. No water will be left on that ground. But a dried up track will remain on that place. If you again throw water on that floor there is a 99 per cent chance that the water will flow on that dried up track.

It is natural to follow the path of least resistance. There is desire to flow in that direction where there is the least amount of difficulty. When an immature mind enters the World of sex, the life energy, according to the rule of least resistance, show eagerness to flow on that path. And it experiences pain and uneasiness in the mind as long as it does not flow away. When it flows out, the mind is relaxed. It feels as if it has become light and has been freed from a burden. But once the path to take us up is obtained, then we experience this freedom constantly. It is necessary to understand three things in relation to how the mind can divert the sex energy upwards.

The first thing to understand is that anything which can go down can also go up. A scientific principle can explain this. In fact the thing which has a possibility to go down, will certainly also have the possibility to go up. The road by which we travel down can also take us up. The road is the same. Simply the direction is changed. Life expands on two dimensions. If water flows down from a mountain, it can also be sent to the height of the mountain, because the water can be lifted up by performing contrary experiments of the rule by which it flows downwards. The sex energy goes down. It is natural. If any person wants to take it upwards, it will not be easy or natural. This will not be done naturally, it will be done by firm resolve. It will be done by man's efforts, his keen desire, his longing and labour. Man will have to labour hard in this case, because he will have to swim against the natural current. It is not at all necessary to swim if you wish to go down the river, towards the sea. All you have to do is to float keeping your hands and legs still. The river itself will take you towards the sea. But if you wish to go to the source of the river, to the place of its birth, you will have to swim, to work hard. Because now there will be a conflict with the natural flow of the river.

Those who wish to go up, lead a higher life, should understand the next point. They will need a firm resolve and the way will be full of conflicts. One can go up and the joys of the journey are beyond words. The happiness one gets on the downward journey is momentary. While flowing downwards what the sex energy brings is happiness, pleasure, while what it brings moving upwards is extreme joy. You collect energy in going up. You make a reservoir. The reservoir can be infinite. It goes on increasing everyday. When happiness begins to decrease, unhappiness begins to increase. Therefore, there is always a black shadow of unhappiness standing behind every happiness, and there is the bright world of joy progressing towards joy behind every joy. There is no shadow of unhappiness behind joy. Joy accumulates because it increases every day, and there is the possibility of its infinite storage.

Another point I told you about is resolve and conflict. Here it will be useful to understand what resolve means and how that energy can rise up with resolve. I shall give two or three illustrations by which you can understand it fully.

The Muslims observe Roja fast, the Jainas and the Hindus and the Christians also observe fast. Yesterday a friend was asking me the meaning of observing fasts. What happens by remaining hungry? The people who started these practices were not fools. The necessity of food in a man s life is the greatest of all needs, it is the most necessary thing for survival. To get food a man can give up love, or a mother can cut her child. During the Bengal famine many mothers sold their children. A husband can kill his wife, can sell her, and a wife can throw away her husband. At the time of death when the last moment comes to save oneself, the instinct for survival is very forceful because everything can be done again, but not the saving of one's life. A woman can find a second husband, a son can be born again, but one cannot get oneself again. Therefore to get food is the greatest desire for survival.

Suppose a man is kept hungry, he will think of food all the twenty-four hours. Every small hair on his body will demand food. While awake or in a dream, he will be asking for food. Some place inside is empty. A biological gap has been created within. The body demands food and he is busy at that time in praying to God. The body is crying aloud for food, and he is praying aloud to God. In two or three day's time, the body's keen desire for food will be converted into thirst for God.

The demand of the body is for food and if the body does not yield to it and goes on determining that not food, but God is required, then within four or six days the body within will begin to cry aloud for God instead of food. A transformation has taken place. Energy which was demanding food is now demanding God. Thus the strong resolve for food is now turned towards God. This is a great transformation. Determination means transformation of powers. When the mind demands sex, when it demands the other, the opposite, a woman demands a man, and a man demands a woman, when the mind wants to flow towards the other, then we shall have to transform the flow. We shall have to adopt the opposite system, so that this yearning of the mind becomes the yearning of God of liberation. It is necessary to keep two or three things in mind.

As soon as the mind desires sexual pleasure, the body begins to make preparations for it. From the sex centre the ganglion begins pulsating another demand. The sex centre becomes projected outside. The science of Tantra says, if the sex centre can be made to project inwards and can be drawn within (which is known as sex-mudra), you will within two moments find that the body has ceased its demand for sex. But the demand was made and the energy for it was already awakened. It is possible to take this energy upwards. No sooner do we think about sex that our mind begins to flow towards the genital organs. One has to draw the genital organs inwards. All the doors going out from the genital organs will be closed.

When the energy has already been awakened, we should close our eyes at that time. Having closed the eyes begin to look at the head from within, just as you see a ceiling from within a room. By constant practice you will find within a month that something from below has begun to rise up. This will be, in fact, your experience that something has started to rise above, something is going up. Some call it kundalini, some give in another name. It is necessary to pay attention to two points here. One is the muladhar and other is the upper centre sahstradhar.

Sahastradhar is our centre at the top level and muladhar is our centre at the lowest level. Muladhar is contracted inwards. The energy created in it tries to find a way out. Now we should direct our mind to the higher direction or upper direction, because that path is open. The energy of the body starts flowing towards that direction in which the mind is directed. This is a small process in the transformation. If you experiment with this, celibacy will be achieved without suppression.

This is not suppression, it is sublimation. Suppression means that the upward path -- door is not opened and the door at the lower level is being guarded by you -- is being kept under check. Then the result would be troubled madness. If the path is there for the energy to flow out, there will no suppression, but only sublimation. The energy will begin to flow above from below. Perform the experiment and grasp its meaning. This is not theoretical neither is it intellectual or scientific. This is a thing experienced by millions of people and it is an easy experiment. And when the flowers of joy and bliss begin to blossom in the upper parts of the brain, sex will begin to disappear from your life. It will go away slowly and there will be the birth of a new energy, a new vigour, a new light and a new life.

The physiologist is not concerned with it at all. If we dissect the body, the energy which is rising up will not be seen. It is like the magnetic field. Even if you tear under the bones, it will not be found anywhere. No clue of it can be found. It is not the physical pain. It is psychic. It takes place in the mind and on the body level. But the change takes place. On the downward march of that energy, the semen particles of the body begin to flow outward. And if it does not flow downwards, the semen particles will also cease flowing outwards.

The body will be well protected but this experiment is not meant for the protection of the body. The body is limited by age and it will pass away. It will not affect the age in anyway. The great happening is the psychic energy. It is concerned with psychic energy. The individual begins to expand, to spread, to be enormous in proportion to the psychic energy he possesses. That person can announce, 'I am the Brahmin', on that day on which not a single particle of the psychic energy flows downwards. The statement, 'I am the Brahmin', is not a logical conclusion. It is an existential conclusion. It is an individual experience. When you are connected with the 'Omnipotence' (virat), you feel you are not an individual but the omnipotence. But this experience of the omnipotence is only by the preservation of that enormous (VIRAT) energy. And this preservation is impossible till the sex energy does not flow upwards.

IT IS NOW AND HERE

Life is now and here, it is in each moment, but man's mind is thinking of the past and of the future. When the thinking of this mind relates to sex, then the mind is thinking of those sexual experiences which have already taken place in the past or is imagining of those ones which will happen, are likely to happen, or of those which he is longing for. And when the mind is thus occupied -- is lost thinking of the past and the future, the physical semen particles are not destroyed but the psychic energy I talked about gets destroyed. The semen particles will certainly get destroyed in actual sexual intercourse, but the psychic energy gets destroyed even while thinking, so he who thinks of sex even in ideas or imagination, directs his energy downwards, this happens even by imagination even by thoughts. By only ruminating on those sexual pleasures he has experienced or those ones he will have not a particle of energy will be lost by the body. But this much ruminating is enough to destroy psychic energy. The mental-psychic energy is bound to be destroyed. It is the real energy.

By sexual intercourse, only some particles of the body are lost but by this mental sex, enormous mental energy is lost. If not today, tomorrow (in future) the body will be destroyed completely. The body is not worth thinking about, but the main, important question is of mental energy which remains with you in your next birth. Therefore, I said he who lives from moment to moment not thinking of the sexual pleasures of the past or of the future, really lives from moment to moment. He preserves his mental energy.

There is one more interesting thing to remember, The person who worries less about the past and the future, and worries about that which is in front of him, plunges himself deep into it and lives in it, has less of tensions in his life. The lesser the tension, more the necessity for sex because then sex begins to work as relief. Therefore a person is as sexed as he is worried. Just as it is in modern Europe and America. Their whole life is full of sex if it is full of cares and anxieties. The necessity for sex will be far less in a life free of cares and anxieties. The person who does one thing at a time, like when he is digging a pit in his garden, he remains busy in it only, when he is eating, he is engrossed in eating, when he is sleeping, he is doing that only, does not contract himself, does not have an over-loaded mind; then the necessity for Using his energy is reduced everyday. I said this because of two reasons -- by thinking, sex energy of the mind is destroyed. Tension gets accumulated in getting engrossed with the past and future. And when tensions get accumulated, the body loses its energy. The relaxation experienced by lessening the energy, looks like rest. We think relaxation -- weariness is rest. When we lie down completely exhausted, we think we get rest.

One more point, thinking about sex is harmful than sex itself. Sex can be easy and natural but thinking about it too often is unnatural, is a perversion. After examining the experience of thousands of people, the psychoanalysts tell us that man is taking too much interest in mental sex and he does not derive any pleasure from the actual sex activity. The sex that is going on in the mind seems more interesting and colourful. If sex is thus perverted in the mind, confusion will be created within us. To think about sex is not the function of the mind. The intelligence of the person who uses his mind to do the work of sex centre becomes depraved -- is spoilt. Gurdjieff used to say so. The intelligence is bound to get spoilt, because the functions of these two are different. It is like this: If a person tries to take food with his ear, his ear will certainly be spoilt, and food will not reach the stomach. Both will be harassed.

There is a centre for everything in man's body. The mind is not a centre of sex. The ganglion is the centre of sex. Let the ganglion do its work, and the mind Its otherwise the mind-consciousness -- will be obsessed by that work. Man looks obsessed already. He is looking at naked photos, and the ganglion has no relation at all with naked photos. It has no eyes. He is looking at naked photos and thinking about them in the mind. He is planning and dreaming of coloured pictures. All these gather together and create confusion of the centres within. The mind will begin the work of the ganglion, but the ganglion cannot do me work of the mind. The intelligence will be spoilt, the mind will be confused and shattered. Ninety per cent of the people in a lunatic asylum are there because their mind tries the functions of sex centre. If we investigate, we shall find that ninety per cent of the people who are mad, outside the lunatic asylums, are there due to the reasons of sex. If we look at their poems, their photos, their novels, their films, we shall find that they are coloured with sex. This is nothing but madness. If animals could know about us, they would laugh at the condition of man. And if they read our poems, even if they are the poems of Kalidas, they will be much puzzled and think what necessity there is, what meaning there is of these poems. If they see our pictures, even if they are by Picasso, they will fail to understand their purpose and meaning. What is the necessity of painting -- showing the breasts of women so much? What is the purpose? Certainly man has become mad. He has become mad because he is taking the work of the sex centre from his intellect. So there is no time left for the intellect to do that work which it could have done.

The intellect can travel towards God but it is doing the work of the sex-centre. Conscience can experience the highest life, it is roaming about only in the pictures of sex. Live in the present, and let that much sex which comes for a moment come, do not be afraid of it, but remember also what I told you about the sublimation of sex, then that energy will begin its upward journey. No such blessedness is experienced in life, which is experienced in that upward journey.

PARADOX OF TOTAL ACTION

When the action is total, energy does not diminish. When I said so, I meant that action is not total when we are split, divided and in conflict. When I am split within, my action is incomplete -- not total. As for example, you met me and I embraced you. If at the time of embracing, one portion of my mind tells me, why are you doing this. This is not proper, don't do it, and at the same time, the other portion tells me, I will do it, it is very good; then I am quarrelling with two parts. I shall embrace you with one half, and I shall be trying to push you away with the other half. I am doing two contrary actions at the same time. In doing these two opposite actions, my mental energy within will be diminished, but had I embraced somebody with all my heart without any tinge of opposition in it, there is no cause for the energy to diminish. On the contrary, this total embrace will fill me with more energy, will fill me with extra joy.

Energy is diminished in conflict. Inner conflict, inner duality causes the loss of energy. Howsoever noble the work may be, if there is conflict within, energy is bound to diminish, as you are fighting with yourself within It is like my building a house, in which I put a brick with one hand and remove it with the other hand. Thus my energy will be lost and the building will never be constructed. All of us are thus split up in self-contradictory parts. Whatever we do is confronted with an opposition outside. If we love someone we hate him also. If we make friends with someone, we make an enemy of him also. If we flatter someone, we also arrange to disrespect him from another side. Thus we are double minded all the time. Therefore, every person becomes bankrupt slowly, his inner energy diminishes. The person dies fighting against himself.

If you examine the truth in this. you will understand this fact. When you start to do any work and If you are fully engrossed in it, you will always come out more fresh and energetic. And, on the contrary, if you do that work half-heartedly, you will come out tired and shattered from that work. So, those who are able to do their work whole heartedly, like a painter totally engrossed in his painting, in preparing his picture, never pets tired. They return from their work completely refreshed and pleased. But if you employ this same painter, on a fixed salary to make pictures, then he returns home completely tired because his mind is not there in the job totally. So no sooner does a part of our mind stand against us that our energy begins to diminish.

What I mean by a total act is not intended for one particular work, but it applies to all jobs you are doing. Do even routine jobs -- duties like eating and bathing totally. While taking a bath, only that act of bathing should be with you; your mind, at the moment, should not think or do anything else. If you are totally engaged in bathing, not only the body but your soul too will take a bath. After the bath you will realise that you have gained something. But it is possible when you are taking a bath, your legs are on the road and your mind is there in the office, and you are on the run, then the bath has no interest and joy in it. That bath will be split up -- divided activity. You simply throw water on your body and run for another activity. In finishing a job thus, you waste your energy, this happens from moment to moment, it is happening for twenty-four hours. You are Lying on the bed but you haven't slept. You can get rest only if the action of sleeping is total. You are simply Lying and dreaming. You are Lying and thinking. You are Lying and changing sides. Thousands of thoughts enter your head. You are thinking of what you did today and also of what you will do tomorrow. When this is the condition, you get up from your bed completely exhausted and weary. Even sleep will not be able to give you rest, because you are not total in that sleep.

One of the most puzzling problems of the world is about the future of sleep. It is decreasing day by day. It is going to decrease -- to disappear, because you sleep only if you sleep totally. But we are split personalities for all the twenty-four hours, how is it possible to be collected -- united -- total -- in sleep when we are split up in all other things. Night is one of the pair. Day and night. It is linked with day. We shall be in that condition in sleep at night in which we have passed the day. The next will also be the extension of today. The life becomes completely shattered. We cannot live in a normal way.

A friend was brought before me recently. Those who brought him told me that this person has tried to commit suicide five times till now. I said, he seems to be a very wonderful man, it seems he is making incomplete efforts. It is difficult to believe that a person is still living if he had tried to commit suicide five times. Where was the need to die, to commit suicide, if you are living totally. This man has already tried to die five times. I told him, 'you should be ashamed of yourself, now don t make any more attempts. Five times is quite enough.' But what is the meaning of this -- a person who tried to commit suicide five times and failed?

Its meaning is that a portion of his personality must have been trying to save himself, and he must have attempted to die also, otherwise who can stop another person from dying? How can there be honesty in living when it is not there in dying? When there is no honesty even in dying, there cannot be any honesty in living. Life will be a total dishonesty. Therefore, I told that person he should be ashamed of himself. He should have died at the very first attempt. And he was brought before me when he tried to die for the sixth time. I told him not to try anymore, he would be much censured.

He was very surprised as he had thought that I would persuade him not to commit suicide. He told me, 'What type of a man are you? Everyone whom I was taken to persuaded me and told me it was a very bad thing.' I said, I do not call it a bad thing, I say to do anything half-heartedly -- incomplete -- is bad. If you want to do a thing, do it totally. That man continued to stare at me for some time, then said, I do no wish to commit suicide, I also want to live but I want to live on my conditions. If they are not accepted I will commit suicide. So he wants to live and also wants to live on his own conditions. If he lives, he lives as if dead, and when he dies, he will die a miserable death all the while wishing to live. He who can not live fully, cannot die fully. He will be a shattered person.

We all belong to this category. There is not much difference in all of us. We are doing the same thing. We do not love the person whom we say we love because in the morning we think of a divorce. Then again, we seek to be pardoned by him then, in the afternoon, we regret it. Thus we beg pardon in the evening and think of divorce in the morning.

I was putting up at a house. There the husband and wife had kept their divorce application ready, only it was not signed. I had seen it with my own eyes. The husband told me many times that the situation becomes so bad that he thinks of putting his signature on it. He was fully prepared for it. I told him there is no harm if you sign it but to keep the application ready is very dangerous. Is there any meaning in calling -- claiming that woman as wife whom you are prepared to divorce? There is no meaning at all. She is still your wife. He said that this application has been kept ready for the last seven years. There is nothing new in it.

This conflict of living half-heartedly causes the wastage of energy. I shall tell you a small story to explain my point. I have heard there was a very famous swordsman in Japan. There was no one in Japan who could be compared with him in swordsmanship. The fame of his skills reached many far off countries. One day he learnt that his watchman had fallen in love with his wife. He arrested both of them. The knight told the watchman, my mind tells me to cut your throat, but you have also made love to mg wife, so it would be proper for us to fight in a duel with swords in our hands. He who is saved at the end will be the master of my wife.

The watchman said, why do you wish to play this game, you may cut my throat even without a fight -- a duel. My throat will be cut anyway because I do not know how to handle a sword, and there is hardly any other man in this world as good a swordsman as you are. Why do you make fun of me by giving me a chance to fight you with a sword? But that knight said, 'that would tarnish my fair name.' It would be said that I cut your throat without giving you an opportunity to challenge me, so take your sword and come to the field. There was no other alternative for the watchman. The poor fellow took a sword, went to the field nervously.

The whole town was gathered there. They knew that the poor fellow would be killed because it was difficult to ward off even one stroke of that knight because he was such an expert swordsman. But the whole position was reversed. It so happened that when that watchman started to fight with the sword the knight began to lose courage. He lost courage because he (the watchman) began to wield his sword in an awkward manner. He did not know how to wield the sword. Secondly, it was found difficult to fight against him because the watchman wielded his sword in an unbelievable totality, as it was a question of life and death for him. And the fight was a play for the knight. He thought he would cut the watchman's throat in no time, but for the watchman, it was a question of life and death. He became an altogether different watchman while wielding his sword. The knight knelt before him and begged his pardon, and asked him how he was wielding the sword so nicely. It was with great difficulty that the watchman could be stopped. The watchman cut down a nearby tree with his sword. The knight turned on one side and knelt, but the energy which had been excited in the watchman did not stop working until he had cut down the tree.

Then, when he was asked what had happened to him, how he got that much energy, he replied that when death was certain, he should wield the sword totally before death. There was no escape from it. He at once became integrated for the first time in his life. He thought death was. in front of him and this was the last chance for him to do what he could do. He had neither the idea of the past nor of the future, nor of the wife, nor of his beloved. Then, gradually he even forgot how and where his hand and the sword were moving. He did not even hear the shouts of the people when they were shouting aloud.

The man had been total in his action. That knight said he learnt that day that the greatest cleverness is total action. He had acquired great skills but he was not total, because to wield a sword was an art for him. He used to think of himself as a separate entity while wielding the sword and was all the time careful not to get hurt. Then the watchman said, there was no question for me to be saved or not to be saved, I thought of only showing you how the sword was to be wielded.

What I mean by total action is this, that this sword wielder, a complete novice, at once became an expert. Why? Because he had achieved yogic heights which means total use of energy. When a person is totally one with himself he achieves this, he becomes integrated. Then there is no division within. When such a person makes love, he only makes love, when he is angry, he is totally angry when there is an enemy in front, he thinks of him only as an enemy. When a person is busy totally in any work, he does not lose his energy. And it is very interesting to note that when a person is totally engrossed in any activity, gradually it becomes impossible for him to be angry, as the anger burns up completely, and is completely scorched out and then it is difficult for hatred to remain within.

We have anger in us as long as we do all our activities half-heartedly. When our actions become total, power of love blooms in our life. When our actions are total, prayers become our longing of life. The day on which the mission of our entire life is over. God alone remains a sacred hymn, a truth for us. When that integration -- that oneness -- is produced within, we also see integration -- oneness outside. As long as there is duality within, there is duality outside too.

I have heard a story. Jesus was passing through a town. It was night, and a man in the cemetery was beating his chest, and was scratching his body with stones and bleeding. Jesus approached that man and asked why he was doing that. The man replied, I am only doing what the whole world is doing, and again began to scratch. Blood was flowing out. He was beating his head Jesus asked, what is your name, O mad man. The man replied, my name is Legion. I do not have one name. I have thousands of names.

Jesus used to tell this story often, that one man told me he had a thousand names, because I am a thousand persons, I am not one person. There are thousands of persons within us also. We also have a thousand names. Someone is trying to protect himself, another wishes to beat someone, the third wishes to make love, and the fourth wishes to murder someone, another wishes to live, another wishes to construct a stone structure on his tomb, another is entering God's temple. Someone tells within us, everything is falsehood, everything is untrue, there is no such person as God. On one side, our one personality is ringing the bell of the temple and at the same time another personality is laughing at it within, and is asking himself, what is this mad thing you are doing? Nothing will be achieved by ringing that bell. Another personality is turning the beads of a mala and at the same time, is running a shop within himself. That person was right when he said my name is Legion. I have a thousand names. What name shall I give you? I am not one person. I am a thousand different persons. Possessing a thousand names within us causes destruction -- fritters away of our energy. If those thousand people become one, an integrated person, our energy will be preserved. Whatever you do, do it totally, with all your heart. And when the work is over, something within you will begin to get accumulated, to be integrated.

Gurdjieff used to say totality is crystallization. When a person does any activity totally, many things within him get crystallized. That crystallization -- that integration gives birth to individuality. It is the birth of Man. I explained this with the intention that you should experiment with it, should understand it, should check it so that it can be clearly fixed in your mind.

FOOD AND SUBLIMATION OF SEX ENERGY

The word aahar has a very deep connotation. It is deeper in meaning than diet. Let us first understand the word aahar, than we shall talk a little more on it.

Food is whatever we take in from outside. If we look at a beautiful flower with our eyes, the activity is food. Eyes are taking the food of beauty. When we hear with ears, we are eating music as food. Ears are eating noises as food. The hand is eating the food of touch when it touches somebody's body. The smell of something touches the nose, then the nose is eating its food. Thus the whole body is taking food, every small hair is taking breath in, is coming in contact with some other object. Our whole body is a food-machine. All our organs are doing the work of taking the outer world within us. But only food we eat is understood as aahar by us, this is our mistaken view.

It is necessary to understand the entire field of food for the sublimation of sex energy, because it is possible the food you have eaten may help in raising the sex energy up instead of pushing it down. But eyes may have seen such scenes or ears may have heard such noises, or the body may have touched such objects which may push the sex energy downwards, so it is necessary to examine all the sides of food, to see the meaning of food from all points of view. We take food with eyes, nose, mouth, with a touch of even the minutest hair on our body. We are eating for all the twenty-four hours. Many things from the outside world are entering within us, and there will be some results of the things that have entered. Naturally what we are accumulating in our body does some activity. If a person has taken wine, his individuality will change, his whole personality will be in a swoon. He will do that activity which is possible in a swoon. Whatever we eat will positively produce results. Its results will continue to come.

The renowned musician of India, Pandit Omkar Nath had gone to Italy, where he was invited to a dinner by Mussolini, who was then in power there. When they were having their dinner Mussolini asked Omkar Nath if it was true that when Krishna played his flute people almost went mad and flocked around him. He found it hard to believe that even deer came out to listen to the music and the peacocks danced.

Pandit Omkar Nath replied, I am not Krishna so I cannot play upon the flute, but I know a little about the elements of music, so I shall show this to you by an experiment. Mussolini said, it would do. But there were no musical instruments in the dining hall. Only spoons and forks were there. Omkar Nath took a spoon and a fork and began to play on china vessels. Mussolini has written in his autobiography that he became unconscious in a few moments. My head began to droop often and fall on the table, and he continued to play so vehemently that my head began to rise and fall to the rhythm. My head began to bleed and cried out for the music to stop. I was unable to stop my head making rhythmical movements. Then that musician stopped playing. Mussolini declared that he had no idea that music would produce such an effect within him that he could not stop his head movements. He has said in his autobiography, 'My body was out of my control, I could not control my head, and I felt I would die now. The greater the effort on my part, the greater was the dashing of my head on the table.' Omkar Nath said it was nothing. It is not proper for me to give any opinion on Krishna, but if this is possible, that also is possible.

Islam banned music, not because it necessarily pushes the sex energy downward, but because 99 per cent of the types of music prevalent then was such that it took sex energy downward. There is hardly one per cent of music saved in this world which can take the sex energy upwards. Even that one per cent is being lost, and there does not seem a way to save it. The dancing of the sufi saints is like that. It sends the on-lookers into meditation. Gurdjieff organized a company of sufi saints, experts in Mendicant dance, and wandered all over Europe and America with that company and asked people simply to see the dance and not to do anything. It was a band of thirty persons. They used to dance before a crowd which used to go into meditation on simply seeing their movements. The movements used to enter their hearts and corresponding movements were produced within their bodies. Whatever was seen outside produced corresponding shapes within and they begin to roll all over. The rhythm -- the gait and the sound -- which the dancing saints create, becomes the rhythm, gait and sound of the onlookers slowly and slowly. A certain dance begins within and a transformation in their energy takes place.

The objects we see with the eyes, the sound we hear with the ears, the things we taste with the mouth, the smell we take with the nose, are all interrelated. We had hung bells in temples. Every bell has no special meaning. Some special bells can be of use. The Tibetans have a special kind of bell, which, some of you might have seen. It is not like a hanging bell. It is like a vessel. And a short round stick is to be turned round and round in it and then to be struck to produce a sound. It is like a bucket which is struck with a short round stick. After the stroke is made with the stick on the bell, a peculiar sound is produced. A humming sound is heard -- 'Om Mani Padme Hoo'.

This complete Tibetan Mantra comes out from it. This Mantra-slogan continues to hum in the temple. There is some meaning behind it. This Mantra goes within our body and excites some wheels in our body and the power of those wheels begin to rise up. The word 'Om' and its humming are meant to take energy upwards. Not only 'Om' but the 'Amin' of the Muslims, and the 'Amen' of the Christians are the forms of 'Om'. The English words omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotence are derived from 'Om'. Omniscient means one who has seen the 'Om'. The 'Om' means a very huge Brahma. Omnipresent means one who is with 'Om', Omnipotent means when one who becomes as powerful as 'Om'. He is now full with the seed of energy like God. This word 'Om' has A, U and M, has three fundamental sounds in it. If these sounds are systematically repeated, hummed they seem to raise the energy upward. There are sounds opposite to these which, if they strike, make the energy go down. So if you see the twist dance, you will find within a short time that twisting begins within you. Some energy begins to swerve within you.

All the advanced systems of dancing and music in the modern world are exploiting the sex instinct of man, so the question aahar -- 'food' is very important. The 'food' we take will produce results positively, we cannot be spared from its results, because our entire life-machinery is psycho-chemical. Those chemicals are working all the time. There will be results of what we eat, of what we drink. There are certain types of food which make man more sexual.

There is a special kind of jelly in honeycombs. You perhaps know that there is only one queen-bee among the bees which alone lays eggs, all others are she-bees and work only as labourers. There is nothing like sex in their lives. Many experiments were undertaken to study why there was no sex-life in these bees. After all they are females, and they possess a complete sex-machinery and yet there is no sex in them. The wonderful result which was found out was this that only the queen-bee eats the jelly which is collected by bees. All the rest get it for only three days after their birth, after that they don't get it. The whole mystery is in that jelly.

Many crazy people made experiments with it for rejuvenation. People prepared creams from that jelly so that thousands of women may use it, apply the cream on their faces to make them beautiful. That jelly contains special vitamins, and it produces extraordinary sexuality. It is difficult to estimate the sexuality of that queen-bee. She gives birth to two thousand eggs everyday and continues to do so everyday. So much sexuality is produced in her by the jelly.

We now know that the discovery of hormones has clearly proved that if female hormones be injected in a male, his body will be transformed in a few days. And if male hormones be injected in a female body, her female body will be transformed into a male body in a few days. Some women begin to get moustaches ordinarily between forty-five and fifty years of age. The reason for this is that the female hormones become less and the male hormones, lying in the body begin to assert itself, so a moustache begins to appear After fifty years of age women's voice begins to be like that of men. The only reason for this is that the ratio between male hormones and female hormones is broken. Female hormones decreased and male hormones increased in their ratio, so the change in voice was caused.

All these are chemical matters and changes much of which depends on the kind of food we eat. If the food we take contains intoxicating ingredients or ingredients that cause unconsciousness, they will cause the body energy and sex energy to flow downward. If there are stimulants activisers in the food, they will cause sex energy to flow downwards. And if there are tranquilizers in our food, they shall tranquilize the mind, they will help the energy to travel upwards. This is a very important subject, so we should understand its principles. We should always avoid that food which contains intoxicating ingredients, or that which cause unconsciousness or drunkenness, or makes our body and mind heavy. The food, we take should be the kind which cannot make our body heavy or excited, produce drunkenness or unconsciousness, or makes one lazy or sleepy. Such food is helpful for a Sadhak (seeker) -- a devotee of religious path -- and makes a way for his upward journey. If the food is of an opposite kind, the Sadhak's upward journey would become difficult. Even by taking wrong food, a Sadhak can go on to his upward journey but there would be meaningless hardships in his way.

When I talk about food, this point should be borne in mind, a Sadhak who wishes to raise his sex energy would not read everything, would not see everything, would not hear everything which is exciting and intoxicating. He would consider that music worthless which is exciting and that music useful, meaningful which is soothing. Movies that you see are generally exciting, they raise every minute hair of the body. Then you are eating wrong food. Detective stories, stories full of murders and blood are all exciting. If you observe the audience in a film you will notice all the people tense in their seats, they almost stop breathing when they see some exciting scene on the screen. And when that exciting scene is over, they will again relax in their seats.

It would be as easy for the sex energy to flow downwards as a person sits erect leaving his relaxing position. But we see everything while walking on the road without caring for them. It is neither necessary nor proper for any one to see everything or to read everything. A person has to make a choice every time, every moment. He should take that in which he can raise his life. And even if he wants to degrade his life, let him do it after thinking over it consciously. But we fritter here and there like blind people. We throw one hand up and the other down. In the morning we go to a church and in the evening visit a theatre. We ring the church bell in the morning and then go to a nightclub to see a dance. Thus we divide our life with our own hands. Thus we stretch our life at both ends. The result is we reach nowhere.

There should be a firm decision in life. If you wish to lower yourself, do go and return after touching the bottom. But then also, there should be some order, some effort. Then give up talking about the upward journey.

Then don't look at the church even mistakenly, and don't turn your steps to a temple, don't have anything to do with the Gita or Bible, save yourself from the Sadhus and Saints, forget that they are in this world, forget about Buddha, Mahavira or Krishna, because they are not the right sort of people. They will be hurdles in your way. You want to go to hell, so catch your boat and stick to it vigorously.

But man is very strange; he keeps one leg on the boat to hell and the other on the boat to heaven. And he reaches nowhere. This whole life becomes drudgery, a burden for him. He drags his life from one place to another. Man is such a bullock-cart where bullocks are yoked at both the ends. They pull in opposite directions. Sometimes one bullock pulls towards the heaven's side and then he becomes sorry that he missed the hell. Let me pull a little towards that side. Then he goes a little towards hell and again repents that he might miss heaven.

Thus the whole life is wasted and he reaches nowhere. In the end the structure of the cart gets loosened and the bullocks die. Then again a new birth, a new world, a new life, and we begin the same course of life due to our old habits. So decide first where you wish to go, what you wish to be, what you wish to achieve, what is your aim, what is your direction, what is your decision. And then begin to act accordingly. Change your eyes, ears, mouth hands and everything else. Then make such contacts that lead you to God. Listen to that which thrills your heart and raises it upwards. Eat that which lifts life to a higher level and makes you light. Only see that which becomes a guide, a lamp in your eyes and removes darkness from your path. Then everything will change.

We use certain kinds of fragrance in the temples, because when a person is deep in meditation, he is filled with the same fragrance and it enhances his experience.

Yesterday a friend asked why I selected red ochre coloured clothes for sannyas. There is a reason for it. As the mind goes on becoming quiet, the light within the heart begins to expand. It is of a red ochre colour. The red ochre coloured clothes continue to excite the colour within, this is the purpose of selecting this colour. While rising, putting on clothes, sitting, sleeping etc. the sannyasi sees the colour, so it is likely that the dormant colour within him may get excited and he may experience a new sunrise in his meditation. It is like the spreading of reddishness as soon as the sun rises.

The whole eastern side becomes reddish though the sun has not yet come up. Birds have begun to sing songs the morning cool breeze begins to blow on all sides. Such a phenomenon takes place within him in meditation at a certain fortunate moment. Seeing that colour within, somebody had selected this colour for sannyasis for life outside. Other colours are also selected, they are those seen within. They are selected for certain reasons. The Muslim Fakirs selected green colour because that colour is also seen within. The Buddhists had selected yellow colour. That colour is also seen within. Once the Theosophical Society searched for a shade of indigo which Colonel Alcot saw while he was meditating, to find out that colour he sent out agents to various markets of the world, because Colonel Alcot wanted that colour for the use of Sadhakas. Many shades of indigo were available but Alcot rejected them all. At last, after two Or three years of further attempts they got one colour from a market in Italy which was approved by Alcot.

On seeing that colour, which Alcot had seen, vibrations of excitement can be produced within another's heart also. The red ochre is the colour of sunrise and that colour spreads within when life within is awakened. On the upward journey we have even to select the right colour, sound, smell, taste, touch etc. We are all confused because we make unrestricted and incoherent selections, which are like boarding broken boats, so that life is frittered away and we reach nowhere.

[A sannyasin says she made love with someone she had been friends with for some time: Afterwards I was just so uncomfortable... When I'm not with him I'm not feeling it, but when I'm with him it feels as if I'm frozen.]

It happens sometimes, because whatsoever you call love is not really love. It is just a hankering for a sex relationship. It is just sex energy moving within you, creating fantasies, charms, beautiful dreams, projections. And because of all those colourful clouds around you the person looks beautiful -- whatsoever he says sounds so sweet, mm? Everything that he does -- the way he moves -- seems to be just perfect, all is grace. But it is nothing there; all is inside you. You are projecting, the other is just a screen, an empty screen.

You are getting ready for a sexual relationship. Once that relationship happens, suddenly all those psychedelic dreams will disappear and you will see the screen empty. And that makes one feel very shaken, as if one has done something wrong, because one destroyed all those beautiful dreams that were around one and now there is no way to put things back. All that poetry has gone; now the man is ordinary. And not only that, deep down you know that now you are also ordinary to him, because whatsoever has happened to you has happened to him too.

Love lives in waiting -- dies in meeting, becomes ordinary. And then one feels frozen and paralysed, guilty.... If you have great dreams then the greater will be the fall. If you don't have great dreams then there will be no fall. It depends on how romantic the relationship was becoming. Whenever a relationship becomes very romantic, making love is dangerous. Making love to a stranger is not dangerous, because there is nothing between you. But making love to a friend with whom you have been feeling so many good things, is dangerous; it will destroy your friendship.

If enemies would make love, perfectly okay, no problem. But friends -- they should be a little more aware of what they are going to do. Because it is bound to happen: you will be flat on the earth. You were flying in the sky, above the clouds; you were so high. But that was possible only because sex was not allowed, so the energy was boiling within... moving and moving and creating the crescendo; it was coming to a peak. But one has to go when the peak comes. If one doesn't go, then one feels very uneasy too because the tension goes on mounting and there seems to be no way to relax.

So when the tension rises to a certain point one has to relax, otherwise it will kill one. And when you relax, you will feel that it was all a dream, that he was just a plain man as everybody else is. Try to understand it. Once you understand, there is no problem; then you know the whole mechanism of it.

The mechanism is unconscious.... A man suddenly looks so beautiful. Remember it, that all people are just as everybody else. But suddenly, out of thousands, one person becomes very very important to you; that means you are investing your sexual energy in him. Sooner or later the point will come where you will have to go into a kind of relationship, and when you do, all will disappear. Be ready for it!

Once you understand this whole unconscious game, then there is no problem. There is no need to be so guilty or frozen or anything. That's perfectly right; it is how things are. One understands the way things work and then one is not worried; nothing special has happened in it. Next time it will happen again with somebody else -- remember it. From the very beginning be alert and see the whole process: becoming more and more interested, becoming more and more intrigued, the charisma, the fantasy and the man is no more ordinary; you have made a hero of him. But that hero will have to go because the hero does not exist anywhere. It is your sexual fantasy. It is a natural biological process. There is a reason in it; nature never does anything without a reason.

The reason is, that if there was no fantasy involved in sex, people would not reproduce at all. For what? Just think: two persons who have no sexual fantasy, no sexual imagination -- why should they make love? Making love will look so ridiculous. Just imagine two persons without any fantasy, without any imagination, without any poetry, just making love -- for what? It will look ridiculous, so absurd. They will look fools to themselves. What are they doing? And for what?

Nature has made an in-built process to hide the ridiculousness of love. It creates a great cloud, very colourful, around it. Under the impact of that great cloud you move in love. Then even that absurd process, ridiculous love-making, looks as if you are doing something great, heavenly. But once the process is complete you are bound to come back to earth, and when you wake up on the earth, naturally you start feeling a little shaken up -- something went wrong or what? You look at the man and he looks so ordinary. You were thinking he is some Prince Charming or something and he is just Swami Muktananda! (laughter)

One feels frozen -- I can understand. They say that even animals feel very sad after making love. What to say about man? Watch animals. Look at a bull after he makes love and see how sad he looks going away. Completely lost, stupid, shy, ashamed... wants to hide somewhere so nobody looks at him. And see when he comes to make love -- with what gusto and zeal!... And when he goes, then? Just see those two -- and it is the same bull! Animals also feel-a little sad, mm? because it had promised so much, and nothing is in the hands. You have been befooled by nature!

Yes, that's exactly what it is: nature goes on befooling people so that nature can go on reproducing, otherwise who will bother? There are a thousand beautiful things to do. To play a guitar is far better, to sing a song or dance or to compose poetry or to paint or to just go trekking in the mountains. There are millions of beautiful things! Who will brother to reproduce children? For what? And then get tethered to them... and a kind of slavery. But in that moment of love-making one is not oneself. One is utterly unconscious; something unconscious takes possession of one.

It is always wise not to make love to a friend. It is possible that by making love to a man or a woman finally you may turn into friends, but it is very difficult to make love to a friend and to remain friends.

So nothing special -- this is the rule, mm? Next time it happens just watch it and be meditative about it... and you will understand something great through it.

Chapter No. 2 - Tantric path to super energy
Chapter No. 3 - Reflections In A Mirror
Chapter No. 4 - Sex, the genesis of love
Chapter No. 5 - From repression to emancipation
Chapter No. 6 - The pinnacle of meditation
Chapter No. 7 - Sex, the super-atom
Chapter No. 8 - From lust to the lord